Monday is my Sunday...kind of.  I take about half the day the off.  Unless I'm really wiped and spend the day on the couch.  I only think about the things that I do as what I do for work; which very much defines my life and my being.  In truth my greatest joys are looking at my yard and seeing the trees growing and my peppers fruiting and fretting about not having enough compost.   Sometimes I think about what I do and it seems like nothing, other days I'm shocked at my output of content.  As a serious artist that prides himself at kicking ass all day, every day all I can say say is that it's in the effort.  Back in high school I was a maniac for football. I was too small, too slow, and couldn't catch.  But I knew the game, I was tough, mean, and didn't know the word quit. I still don't.  I had a workout partner one summer, Jahn Diem.    We ran and lifted weights 6 days a week.   One day we worked out so hard I puked twice.  It wasn't significant that we would hurl on occasion.  What was significant was that a few minutes after, we threw ourselves back into the fray harder than before.  Nobody was watching.  Nobody cared.  We did it for ourselves.  I still work like that every day.   But I'm old now. Tempered with experience, a little wisdom, a lot more compassion.  From this weekend, my fingers are still tore up, I'm still short on sleep, I've already got every night this week booked with one thing or another.  I don't get any "atta boys" or shit like that.  It's a heart-breaking, lonely grind.  Yet somehow I feel fortunate and blessed beyond comparison.  I get to make music. 

Half of my partners screw me, the other half are useless.  I have a small handful of quality associates who are worth their weight in gold, even if our musical rewards are only pennies.  I don't know why I do this, it used to be because I felt like it was a must.  Now it's more like the thing I am an expert at.  But still, the rewards are hollow and pointless...but the joy remains.  I love making a jam with other musicians.  I love making a kick-ass track.  I love making people stand up and scream and clap.  It's only for the briefest of times, but for some of them, those moments are an eternity.  I never devalue what I do, but the economic reality is often unpleasant.  My work schedule is 24/7. 365.  I'll grab respite where and when I can.  Thank God the Marines taught me to grab sleep whenever the fuck you can get it.  Thank God for God and the beauty and tragedy of the human experience which I try and put to music.  Thank God for those few who listen.  Thank God for those who are moved.  Thank God for my wife, who gave up much to be with me.  I did not give her a life of comfort and ease.  I am hard man.  It's not easy for her.  She gives me her best.  And she gives me her all.  I couldn't have had a better partner.  Sometimes I feel bad for not having more to offer.  But we live richly, we live well, we have joy, and love, and trust, and each other and no amount of money can replace that.  She is a good woman.  I try and be her good husband.